Increasingly upset over Democratic and media attacks regarding extended delays of Federal assistance to victims of Hurricane Katrina, the White House has begun to shift blame to the previous administration of President Bill Clinton.
An unidentified White House source insists that the Clinton Administration held a pattern of delaying assistance to those in need, directly pointing a finger at a 1994 incident in Maryland.
After a lengthy briefing with President George W. Bush, the source is relaying "a clear pattern of refusal" to lend FEMA support to Americans who needed help in the past.
"The President wishes to once again extend his deepest sympathies to the victims of Hurrincane Katrina" the source is quoted, before following with "however, federal assistance was delivered to these unfortunate minorities long before President Clinton ever considered sending aid to a group of white student filmmakers who desperately needed help in October of 1994. As a matter of fact, according to FEMA records NO federal assistance was ever sent to these brave young people, nor was assistance ever requested by the Clinton White House."
In 1994, three student filmmakers disappeared in the woods near Burkittsville, Maryland while shooting a documentary. A year later, their footage was discovered.
President Bush has reviewed the footage recently and is requesting that Congress open up immediate inquiries into the Clinton Administration's refusal to send at least one helicopter to search the area for the missing party.
"The President has watched the documentary footage at least three times now and keeps asking 'Why weren't helicopters deployed to find these folks?'", quotes the source. "Three young, middle-class white kids were lost for seven days and not one rescue team was sent anywhere near."
The trio, Heather Donahue, Joshua Leonard and Mike Williams were last seen in the town of Burkittsville, formerly know as Blair. They were filming a documentary on a local legend known as the Blair Witch.
Throughout the film's footage, no signs of any airplanes or helicopters can be seen overhead as the three students attempted to travel by day and sleep in a tent at night.
"A caring President would have heard of the missing students, who were no more than 60 miles from the White House. President Clinton sat working in the Oval Office a mere hour from the crying students and did nothing, while President Bush traveled thousands of miles across the country and back so he could personally fly over victims in New Orleans. Now that's compassionate conservatism in comparison to do-nothing liberalism."
According to the footage found in 1995, one victim went missing from the tent after the fifth night, while Heather and Mike held ground to find their departed friend. They eventualy were murdered in the basement of a nearby abandoned house.
Nobody has gone on record to say so yet, but the White House is considering releasing the documentary footage to the public in movie theaters to show America what these three filmakers went through. The movie, entitled "The Blair Witch Project", will open the eyes of the country and will lead to a full-scale demand into the Clinton White House. Already, footage of Bush helping four African-American women get a hug has been filmed and will be played at the completion of the documentary. The hope is that people will see Clinton refusing to help three white kids and Bush hugging at least four African-Americans.
"Hopefully, this will dispense of the rumors on the internets that this White House is uncaring about black folks. We'll do that by showing that Bill Clinton did so much less than that for three white folks."
You're kidding me, right? Funny how this idiot has critized Clinton yet not shred of evidence, proof, etc. is provided. Funny how the idiot looks up to not only his daddy but his other daddy as well in troublesome times. Look out kids, they will make this idiot just as big as the other idiot Reagan when his time comes.
Posted by: Ray | September 08, 2005 at 01:11 PM
Umm, you do realize this is satire, right?
Posted by: Windhamite | September 13, 2005 at 12:49 AM
I believe I do....what's the problem?
Posted by: Ray | September 13, 2005 at 08:43 AM
Just checking. One never knows. You know, any reason to blast Bushie.
Posted by: Windhamite | September 14, 2005 at 12:20 AM